Mod S2S Mentor

Supporting An LGBTQ+ Sibling

How can I support my Lgbtq+ sister going through puberty and in social situations? -Anonymous

Hello there! 

This is a very good question, and I hope my advice is helpful to you <3 

The main thing is: Be there for her. If she has questions, do your best to answer them. If she needs a listening ear, or a big hug, sit there and let her talk, or supply said hug. Just simple things like that can go a long way, even if it doesn't seem like it. And don't judge her, or say her questions are silly, or anything like that, even if you might think that they are. I know that, especially with siblings, this can be a hard thing to do, but try to avoid it, if possible. (Of course, everyone's human, and you are siblings, so of course things can't be perfect all the time)

If you have access to LGBTQ+-related articles/books that talk about puberty for LGBTQ+ kids, share them with her! Even if she already knows the information that's in the materials, chances are that she'll be happy/grateful to you for taking the time to give them to her. Like I said, small things go a long way, especially if the gestures relate directly to what the person is dealing with/going through. And if she asks for help researching something, offer to help - who knows, you might learn something new, and it's a great way to bond with your sister.

As for social situations....it comes back to: Be there for her. If someone is giving her a hard time for being LGBTQ+, stand up for her, and make sure she's safe. If someone did give her a hard time and you weren't there, let her talk about it if she wants to, and if she doesn't, offer her some support, such as a hug, or a distraction. If she has anxiety over certain social situations, such as school, or hanging out with friends, let her talk to you, if she wants, and offer whatever advice that you can - or even just offer support, if you don't have any advice. 

Basically, it all comes back to the same thing: Be there for her, in whatever ways that you can, wherever you can. Navigating puberty and social situations as an LGBTQ+ person can be tough, and I'm sure that it will make her feel better to know that you have her back, and that she can count on you for support if she needs it. <3 

 

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Replies

  • Ya. That's great. She's always been a talker, but she doesn't like to talk about personal things. Like she would get mad at me when I pushed her (I don't any more) but she wouldn't admit it when she got her feelings hurt.
  • Thanks. This is helpful. I've given her books before and it always makes her happy. The hardest thing is that she is the opositt of me in that she doesn't want to talk about it. I have stood up for her when kids have excluded or made fun of her, but she also just has a hard time making friends. I think she might have social anxiety, and making friends is really easy for me, so I don't relate to her struggles. I think that is the hardest part for me, I don't understand what she's going through and because she doesn't talk to me about it, I don't know what she needs. My mom picks up on more things than I do, so I've found that asking her what she thinks might help my sister is helpful, but I'm wondering if you have any other sudjestions? thanks again. It's great advice and I will defenatly try it.
    • Mod S2S Mentor
      I'm glad it helped. It sucks that she doesn't want to talk about it, but maybe you can help her from afar? Just keep giving her books, articles, etc.? I obviously don't know your sister, but that seems like a low-pressure way to talk with her.
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