Mod S2S Mentor

 am trying to break away from one of my friends because I do not feel comfortable around her and neither do my friends. my friend told me that he does not feel comfortable around me because she is always there he also says she is a little dependent. the reason I do not feel comfortable around her is because of what she talks about she talks about sexuality, puberty, anxiety, depression,e.c.t. and we are 10. I asked her to give me some space and she got mad at me. any advice?

-Ruby.

This is a tricky situation. Your friends should respect your boundaries. If a friend is talking about something that makes you uncomfortable you should let them know that them talking about it makes you uncomfortable. It doesn't sound like that's her intention and that she just wants to talk to people she trusts about hard topics. Ten-year-olds can struggle with all the things you mention. It's okay if you are not comfortable but there is not a problem with someone that age wanting to talk about those things. 

This advice can apply to other situations with friends who don't respect your boundaries. It should be communicated to them that you are not comfortable talking about whatever it is and they should listen to you. It doesn't matter what the topic is. It's important that you are comfortable with your friends.

People who really refuse to respect your boundaries even after being told about it are not good friends. It shows a lack of respect and care. When issues like these don't go away it might be a good idea to consider if these are people you really want to be friends with. It's okay to cut off people who are toxic or bad for you. Sometimes friendships are bad for one or both people and ending them is what's best for everyone.

 

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Replies

  • Yes to all of this! I’d say if you want to give it another shot at asking for space, make it clear that she knows you don’t think these are in general bad topics (if she somehow misinterpreted it, that isn’t your fault, however I can definitely see why she would be offended/angry if you thought talking about/thinking about mental illness, sexuality and the like ;))
    • ^^^^^^^^^^^
  • Well said! I really agree, sometimes you need to end a relationship if you are not happy or comfortable.
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