Mod S2S Mentor

Figuring Out Your Sexuality

Is twelve to young to really figure out your sexuality when you haven’t even had that many crushes? I don’t see that many kids my age at the moment, but I feel like I might know my sexuality. That makes no sense, I’m just very confused. -Anonymous 


Hello there!

My answer to this question is simple: You are never too young to figure out your sexuality. A lot of people start questioning their sexuality at age 5, or even younger. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ age to start figuring out your sexuality - it happens when it happens. 

If you feel like you might know your sexuality, that’s great! It doesn’t matter how many crushes you have or haven’t had, or how many kids you see. Sometimes you just…know. 

Also, being confused is perfectly all right! A lot of people are confused at first, and some (myself included) are still confused, years later. Sexuality is not a fixed thing, necessarily. You might decide on a label (or two or three), and then realize that said label(s) don’t fit you, or that they’re not quite right. And that’s okay too!

The big thing to remember is: Feelings first, labels later. If you think you might know your sexuality, and want to label yourself, that’s awesome! But if that label changes, or if you end up not wanting to label yourself, know that there is nothing wrong with that, and that it is a perfectly valid option that a lot of people choose. (Labeling yourself as ‘questioning’ is all right too, even though some people don’t consider it a valid label)

Sexuality is a wonderful and definitely confusing thing, and figuring it out is always a wild ride that can be tiring and frustrating at times. Just let your feelings take you where they take you, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to fit into one label or another. Only you can define your sexuality. <3


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