S2S Mentor

Crushes & Coming Out!

So I was wondering how to give a letter to your crush. even though they already know it's you. And how would you tell someone that you are now Bisexual? and they have known you to be Straight? -Anonymous

Hi there! 

It's completely understandable that you might want to talk about some of these things or take some of these actions! Please know that these are all very personal things and that you ultimately get to make the decision on what you'd like to do! It's not up to me, your friends, classmates, or anyone else what you do, these choices are yours to own :) Although I may have some suggestions that could possibly help, ultimately this is up to whatever choice you choose to make and feel is best for you!

Letter:

If you're looking to pursue a relationship, or just want to let your crush know that you have feelings for them, that's great! There are many different ways that you can give a letter to your crush! You could mail it if you'd like to play it the snail mail way, you could drop it in their locker, or you could give it to them yourself! I wouldn't recommend giving it to someone else to give to your crush, even though that might feel more tempting. Ultimately, it could get lost or passed to the wrong person, which might not work out for the best in the long run. If a letter is the way you choose to go because that's what works best in your world, then I would personally give them the letter. If you don't want the confrontation piece, then I would mail it as the next option. It's okay to let them know and explicitly tell them you have feelings for them even if they might already know because sometimes feelings can get messy and miscommunication can take place! It's always better to be direct than beat around the bush. People interpret things in many different ways, but when you're direct with what you want them to know, they're not going to have to guess or play games to figure out your feelings. Once you let them know, you can decide where your relationship will go from there! I wish you the best of luck :)

Coming Out:

Exploring where you are and who you are are two amazing journeys that can leave you in pretty cool self-discovery! If you've figured out that you identify as bisexual, I'm happy for you! If you would like to make a transition into talking to your family/friends about how you identify, I would recommend sitting down with them and just telling them. If they're an amazing part of your life and you want to let them know about you, again, I would be straightforward with it. You could say, "Hey ___ I would like to talk with you about something...could we sit for a second? I just wanted to let you know that I identify as bisexual," They might ask you questions, which is okay! Often friends and family can be curious about how you identify, how long you’ve known, or other pieces of information they might not know. :) I would tell them in a safe environment where you're going to be comfortable having a conversation and be able to express your feelings to each other. Coming out can feel scary, but if you family and friends really love you, they're going to be able to accept you for you! 

I'm always here if you'd like to further talk! You got this!! :) 

Sister to Sister,

Paige

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Replies

  • Mod S2S Mentor
    Just a question, you don't have to answer for Pagie but are you lgbt?
    • S2S Mentor
      Are you asking me this question? I'm a little confused! If so, I do not identify within the LGBTQ+ community, but I am a strong ally and have many friends who identify within the community :) I hope I answered your question!
      • Well I don’t know how s2s questions work or if they’re just randomly assigned to people but maybe you could leave the lgbt-related questions to lgbt people, who have first hand experience with that topic?
        • S2S Mentor
          I understand your concern, and we have many questions coming in. S2S members usually answer questions when we have time, so there are some that aren’t able to get answered! I like to answer questions before they get too old, or others haven’t answered them because they haven’t had time. I understand I’m not a member of the community, and don’t have firsthand experience with some of these topics, but I have given some great insight on some of these topics from others & I love to share anything that’s helpful! I don’t claim to know everything, but I like to help out when I can. I understand that I’m a straight woman, but I’d rather a question be given some insight rather than no possible answer at all :)
        • ^^^^^i do think it’s a really good board that you worded very well, but maybe leave it for Leela? Phoenix? To name a couple
          • Mod S2S Mentor
            Or we could collab on boards with LGBT stuff in them
            • That’s a good idea

              I mean Paige, hear you, it’s really awesome to give people your perspective and advice, and it seems really full proof and helpful, but also you are a cishet woman so there’s only so much experience and insight you have to offer, maybe just wait a little while to see if any lgbt mentors pick it up?
              • S2S Mentor
                Thank you for understanding! I usually do try to wait to see if someone will pick it up! This particular question was asked about 2 months ago, so I gave it time before answering it :) Often times, questions get buried and problems get solved before we're able to get to the questions and give full answers so I try to answer them before that happens!
  • This is awesome! Maybe just don't say girl, since some of us don't identify as female?
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