Mod S2S Mentor

Coming Out To Family

How do I come out to family? -Anonymous

Hi there!

This is a loaded question that has many different answers, because everyone's family situation is different. Before you come out to a family member, the biggest thing to consider is: Is your family homophopbic?

If the answer is 'yes' or 'I don't know', then you should definitely think really hard about how you want to come out, and make sure you have a backup plan in case things don't go so well. If you're coming out in a maybe-iffy environment, then you should definitely have someone you can call/text if things don't go well, and you need to take some time away from your family. Of course, you might not need that, but if there's a chance your family might not be cool with you coming out, it's a good thing to have on hand, even if you never use it.

If the answer is 'no', then great! Supportive family members will hopefully make things a lot easier. As for how you come out, that really depends on what you feel comfortable with. A few ideas are:

-Write your family a letter/email, explaining everything (as much or as little as you want).

-Sit down with your family and say something along the lines of "I have something to tell you..." and then just say whatever it is that you want to say to them.

-Puns! If you can find some fun LGBTQ+ puns, that's a clever and funny way of coming out to anyone.

-Music. There are quite a few songs about being LGBTQ+ out there, and if you want to, you could just play the song as a way of coming out.

There are plenty of other ways, as well - I've seen people walk into the room wearing a pride flag, I've seen people bake a cake and write "I'm ___ (gay, bi, trans, etc)" on top....it all depends on what you feel comfortable with. 

However, the most important thing to remember is: Take your time. Try not to feel pressured to come out before you're ready. Know that it's okay if you plan on coming out and then don't go through with it. And, last but not least: You have a lot of people on your side, and we're all silently rooting for you. You've got this! <33

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Replies

  • Idea on how to come out: make a pit a finger down video and send it to the person if you are too chicken to say it to their face (like me)
  • Thank you for writing this! :)
  • Yes! Very well written. Also, how I came out to my family, it doesn't have to be anything big or dramatic. That can make you anxious and worried. Some people find it easier to just say, "hey guys, I've been meaning to tell you that I am *insert identity here*".
    • Mod S2S Mentor
      Thank you! And yes, I agree. I just wrote my parents a simple note. It's whatever feels right to you.
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