Mod S2S Mentor

Sister to Sister: Dealing With Fears About Growing Up

Sometimes I just feel like I don't want to grow up. I'm 13 and will be going to high school next year but sometimes I just feel like I want to stay a kid forever. what should I do? 

-Anonymous

 

Growing up is really scary for a lot of people. I myself have had many moments where I feel so overwhelmed by the idea of even getting ready for a big moment that could mark adulthood. Your feelings are normal. I think a lot of people’s fears about getting older come from the mounting responsibilities and expectations that come with each new stage of life. It’s really easy to see all of those expectations and feel like it’s something you can’t handle. 

 

High school seems like a big step; there is a lot of social reorganization and that’s when many people start expecting you to have your future planned out, at least to an extent. There’s a pressure to do well, because you know that it’s the grades from these four years that matter to colleges when they’re making decisions. I know that after I entered high school, each year became a countdown until College, my fears about being ready for that mounting each year. Something that might help is taking a few minutes to sit down and figure out what it is you’re worried about. Is it a larger workload? Making friends? Exams? Pinpointing one or more particular things that are making you nervous about growing up and entering high school can help you figure out how to deal with it. Take the load of responsibilities that you feel is being placed on your shoulders, and sort through them, one by one. If you take them apart it feels more manageable.You can brainstorm ways to get your work done and still have time for the fun things that you enjoy. 

 

Problem solving aside, I think one thing that is important to remember is that your personality and way of life doesn’t have to change significantly just because you have entered high school. You can still be a kid, and have fun playing, reading and talking to friends. Growing up is gradual. As you get older and change, your personality and attitude towards life will also change, but it won’t be all at once. You don’t have to lose what you like about being young just because you’re one grade older. 

 

In our culture and world, we are all constantly facing the future. Everyone has fears about not only their personal circles and themselves, but also the world, and greater human community. We have this set idea as a culture that there is one right way to grow up. One is supposed to go to high school, where they perform not their best, but the best, and then go on to college where they are expected to do the same. It puts an enormous amount of pressure on all young people, and growing up seems hard and scary. Not everyone has to (or should) grow up in this set way. 

 

Try to find ways to keep what you love about being a kid intact. Keep playing, reading and imagining. 

E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of NMG Members to add comments!

Comments

  • Thank you so much for writing this! I have so much anxiety about growing up.
  • Thank you for writing this, this is one of my fears too.
  • Thank you for writing this <3 growing up is honestly my worst fear.
  • Thank you so much, this is one of my fears
    • Mod S2S Mentor
      You're very welcome! I hope this helped. Feel free to pm me anytime if you want to talk more about this, or anything! :-)
This reply was deleted.

What Do You Think?

You need to be a member of NMG Members to add comments!

Comments

  • Thank you S2S mentors and mods!! You make NMG amazing <33
  • This is really good advice! I would say the same thing.
  • I have gone through 2 sentences and are thinking "How does she know my life?" No joke 2 nights ago I was trying to bounce on the couh to touch the cealing. I totally didn't throw up afterwards ; I
    • Can you not use "she" pronouns because not all of us identify as girls sometimes/ever
      • i think she was talking specifically about emily//emilpanada?
        • Mod S2S Mentor
          I'm confused, did I accidentally use she/her pronouns to generalize, or did someone refer to me as she/her? If it's the former, I'll definitely fix it if someone can point me in the right direction! If it's the latter, then she/her is what I'd prefer people to use to refer to me :D
        • I know but it's good to get in the habit :p
          • Mod S2S Mentor
            Their isn't anything wrong with using she/her pronouns for people who actually use them.
            • ^^ they/them pronouns should be used (a) if you don't know what someone identifies as or (b) if someone uses they/them. there's no point in making everyone's pronouns they/them if someone has explicitly said that she uses she/her...
This reply was deleted.
E-mail me when people leave their comments –